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Got Faith? Only If You Have Empathy

A neighbor and I recently met on the sidewalk in front of our house and I asked about her daughter, who has a rare disease that attacks nerve cells in the spinal cord. Her daughter, who is smart and talented, has a permanent condition that results in very limited use of her limbs. She requires lots of help in daily living.

My neighbor told me how worried she is about the federal government help her daughter receives, at home and at the state university she attends. Under proposals to repeal the Affordable Care Act, supplemental benefits for millions of recipients, many of them disabled, would be at risk, according to media reports.

That would be devastating to my neighbor and her family because though they are not poor, they would be hard pressed to pay the costs of caring for her daughter without such help. For many, my neighbor family’s predicament is on the periphery of the health-care reform debate. Many can’t seem to put themselves in my neighbor’s shoes.

Further on in the conversation, we turned to the subject of empathy and the effect it has on whether or not people favor one thing over another. I should say here that this is not to make a political point. It’s to show that many apply the old saw, “It depends on whose ox is gored,” to lots of the social and political issues of our time.

Natural State of Human Affairs?

The adage means that many see politics and social issues through the lens of self-interest. They may see this as the â “natural” state of human affairs, that it’s “every person for him/herself.” But, of course, this turns out to be a risky way to look at things because history shows that whoever or whatever is goring someone else’s ox could also gore ours.

Some may feel for my neighbor and her daughter but say the government “can’t help everyone” and must limit its budget accordingly. Anyway, they may say, it’s not the government’s place to help people like them, though there’s no other entity capable of providing such help.

I suppose it does boil down to a disagreement about the proper role of government. In my opinion, those of us who have no special needs, who are in society’s mainstream, who have good jobs and live comfortably, have little need for government. It’s the people on the periphery, who lack the personal and other resources to thrive, who need government help.

 The rejection of the self-serving view and the adoption of empathy, its antidote, doesn’t merely make sense in politics and social issues but is, in my view, a requisite in the search for God.

Empathy, in fact, is the main ingredient in developing a sense of social justice. Without it, why would you care about my neighbor’s daughter, the poor, the marginalized, the millions of people who are left out of our economy and society? Why would you care about trying to ensure that everyone in our society has what it takes to survive and thrive?

Empathy, by the way, is not the equivalent of sympathy. Empathy, according to Webster’s, is “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” That means placing myself in the other person’s shoes even though I haven’t experienced what he or she has.

Sympathy is having “feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune.” The terms are obviously related, and, it seems to me, you can’t have sympathy without first feeling empathy.

Empathy is especially important for people searching for God. And if you’re talking about Christianity, failure to practice empathy is missing its whole point. Though the word “empathy” may be missing from the gospels and other New Testament writings, the concept is certainly not. Jesus’ parables about the Good Samaritan, the Prodigal Son and other teachings make clear the importance of empathy, regardless of merit.

Love Your Enemies?

“You have heard people say, love your neighbors and hate your enemies,” says Jesus in Mathew’s gospel. “But I tell you to love your enemies and pray for anyone who mistreats you. Then you will be acting like your Father in heaven. He makes the sun rise on both good and bad people. And he sends rain for the ones who do right and for the ones who do wrong.”

Obviously, Jesus holds people to a higher standard than what we may consider to be a “natural” human value like self-interest.

St. Paul provides what is perhaps the best teaching on the subject ever: “If I speak in the tongues of angels but have not love,” according to Chapter 13 of the First Letter to Christians at Corinth, “I am a noisy gong or a clanging symbol.”

You probably know the rest. If not, you should look it up. It is, arguably, the most beautiful passage in all the Bible. One of its messages is that empathy is another word for love, without which the search for God is meaningless.

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