The God who is “Distant and Never Quite Satisfied”
On a recent show, TV host Stephen Colbert interviewed comedian Jim Gaffigan. They were talking about parenting and their faith, something that is seldom done on national network television, and Colbert commented on Gaffigan’s description of his parenting of five children.
“A father’s job,” said Colbert, “is to be distant, authoritative and never quite pleased. That way, the children can eventually understand God.”
He meant it as a joke, but most jokes reflect reality, and I believe this joke pretty well reflects how many people feel about God: If God exists, many people suspect, he/she is distant, judgmental and above all, impossible to understand.
Maybe that view results from so many contradictory signals about God. Is he/she loving, as is portrayed sometimes in the Christian Bible and the lives of many saints, or vindictive and exacting, as is often portrayed in the Jewish Bible?
Counted the Hairs?
To be fair, this isn’t a Christian vs. Jewish Bible problem. The Jewish Bible, or Old Testament, also sometimes shows God as a loving Father. Just look at the Psalms. And the Christian Bible, or New Testament, sometimes emphasizes the punishing God.
I could count on one hand the number of homilies I’ve heard through all my years of attending Mass that I remember even faintly. That results from my poor memory but also the poor homilies I’ve heard.
But one that stands out I heard 50 years ago in a small town in central Missouri, where the young priest made me awaken to the notion of God as father. So many of us, he pointed out, don’t know who our father is. And viewing God as father has made such a difference in my life.
(You may prefer the image of God as mother, and that works, too. Maybe for our age, “parent” would best describe God.)
Despite the fact that Jesus consistently refers to God as “Father,” I was among those who didn’t know who my father was. My notion of God was vague. But I happen to have had a great human father, so the priest’s metaphor worked well for me. God has all the wonderful qualities my Dad had plus many more.
But the priest pointed out that even if your human father, or mother, wasn’t so great, the metaphor still works. Just imagine the father or mother you would always have wanted.
My favorite portrayal of God in the Bible is the one in the Gospel story of the Prodigal Son. There are many lessons in this story, depending on the viewpoint of each of the story’s characters. For those whose memory of the story is vague, here’s a summary.
The younger of two sons asks his father for his inheritance and goes off to another country where he blows it in every direction. Eventually, the son falls on hard times, goes hungry and regrets leaving the comfort of his home. He returns to his father and asks forgiveness.
The father, seeing him coming from far off, prepares a party and welcomes his prodigal, or wastefully extravagant, son. The father himself is wasteful and extravagant in his kindness, generosity and forgiveness. He immerses his son in his love.
Jealous and Indignant
Seeing this extravagance, the older son, who has stayed at home and obediently served his father, is jealous and indignant. The father is also patient and kind with this son, explaining that getting back a son he thought was lost requires such rejoicing.
The story portrays a God who is welcoming and forgiving of people who have ignored him/her as well as people who have obediently served him/her throughout their lives. Contrary to what critics of religion say, this is NOT a God who is much like us.
Unfortunately, it sometimes takes a lifetime to form an image of God that makes it all worthwhile, that provides peace while motivating you to be God-like and make a God-like impact on the world.
Said comedian Gaffigan on the same show: “That’s why the church is filled with old people. They’re cramming it in at the end.”
