The Given Moment
Aside from species characteristics, what do all human beings have in common despite differences in beliefs, philosophies, ideologies, political parties and nationalities?
The desire to be happy.
Happiness means different things to different people, of course, and we don’t walk around thinking about it. We seldom hear people say, “I just want to be happy,” although many people may think it several times a day.
I would guess people who are less affluent, and live in less developed countries, think about it less often than middle class Americans. Most people in the world are, perhaps, too busy trying to survive.
Still, I’ve never met someone who doesn’t want to be happy and I doubt if I ever will. So why does happiness escape so many of us?
I’ve heard many responses, including the idea that it’s mainly due to expectations that are unrealistic and thus unfulfilled. Many religious people would say that it’s because God is absent from our lives, and as a believer, I tend to agree. But I’ve known lots of religious people who don’t appear to be happy.
Many of us believe stuff makes us happy, but since childhood we know how disappointing that can be. We still accumulate “toys,” but like children, the longer we have them, the less they give us pleasure.
Basic Needs?
Some studies indicate that once our basic human needs are met, we have a good shot at being happy.
And then there’s Brother David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk, who in a very popular TED talk a couple of years ago expanded on a phrase that has almost become a cliché and whose variations can be found framed in book stores and gift shops: “Want to be happy? Be grateful.”
Says Brother David: “We all know quite a number of people who have everything that it would take to be happy, and they are not happy, because they want something else or they want more of the same. And we all know people who have lots of misfortune, misfortune that we ourselves would not want to have, and they are deeply happy….”
“So what is it about gratefulness that makes people happy? “These two things have to come together,” he says. “It has to be something valuable, and it’s a real gift. You haven’t bought it. You haven’t earned it. You haven’t traded it in. You haven’t worked for it. It’s just given to you.
“And when these two things come together, something that’s really valuable to me and I realize it’s freely given, then gratefulness spontaneously rises in my heart, happiness spontaneously rises in my heart. That’s how gratefulness happens.
“Now the key to all this is that we cannot only experience this once in a while. We cannot only have grateful experiences. We can be people who live gratefully. …And how can we live gratefully? By experiencing, by becoming aware that every moment is a given moment, as we say. It’s a gift. You haven’t earned it. You haven’t brought it about in any way.
“You have no way of assuring that there will be another moment given to you,” he continues, “and yet, that’s the most valuable thing that can ever be given to us, this moment, with all the opportunity that it contains. If we didn’t have this present moment, we wouldn’t have any opportunity to do anything or experience anything, and this moment is a gift.”
Some people who are estranged from God and religion say they don’t need either to be happy, and that may be true, but I believe humans were meant to be more than happy. They are meant to be joyful, and for that, you need God, and maybe even religion.
So what’s the difference between happiness and joy? For me, joy is deeper, more lasting, and is about a connection to the transcendent – an experience that sustains you through anything and everything, good and bad.
Other Relationships in Perspective
And the joy resulting from a relationship with God puts all your other relationships in perspective. With such joy, people aren’t there merely for your sake. Spouses, lovers, family members, friends, and complete strangers are, like you, children of God. You have a relationship to them that goes beyond consanguinity or friendship.
Have doubts about God’s existence and about any “higher power” having any interest in you or your life? Imagine if all that Christianity has taught were true, wouldn’t that provide incredible joy? To believe that we’re not specks of humanity floating around on an insignificant planet in immense vastness, subject to the whims of randomness, but have a creator who loves us no matter what? Wouldn’t that change our lives? And wouldn’t it be worth it to do all we can to determine if that potential belief is true? And isn’t saying it’s impossible to know and opting out of the search for God merely a copout? Faith, after all, is rational, despite widespread cynicism to the contrary. So all humans want to be happy, but I believe we’re called to joyfulness. “Joy … always endures,” says Pope Francis in ‘The Joy of the Gospel,’ “… as a flicker of light born of our personal certainty that, when everything is said and done, we are infinitely loved.”
