Showing Up

If you go out to dinner much, you’ll notice that the service – even at the restaurants you like best – can be spotty. Often it’s not that the server is bad, but that there doesn’t seem to be enough of them.

Although I find myself empathizing more with the servers than the management, I do wonder how frustrating it would be for managers when employees don’t show up.

Showing up – at work, at home, when loved ones need our help, when people down on their luck need our help, and in prayer – is half the battle. You may not think “showing up” in prayer is particularly important, but I believe – and many spiritual writers believe – it’s essential.

Everything Else Negotiable

“There is no bad way to pray,” writes Ronald Rolheiser, a Catholic priest and writer, in his little book, Prayer: Our Deepest Longing, “and there is no one starting point for prayer. You have to show up for prayer and you have to show up regularly. Everything else is negotiable and respects your unique circumstances.”

It reminds me of what the late Thomas Keating, the Trappist monk who co-founded Centering Prayer, wrote about it: “The only thing you can do wrong is stop doing it.”

Showing up for prayer, that is, being faithful to a prayer routine, is not easy, especially in today’s world. “Routine” has a bad name. It signifies boredom and thoughtlessness. But as regular bathing, eating and sleeping is important for our physical and mental health, regularity is important for attentive prayer.

Writes Rolheiser: “We have smartphones and radios that stimulate us before we are fully awake. Many of us are texting friends, checking Facebook and e-mails, watching the news, or listening to music or talk radio before we even shower or eat breakfast.

Stimulated and Preoccupied

“The drive to work follows the same pattern: stimulated and preoccupied, we listen to the radio, talk on our cell phones, and plan the day’s agenda.” And often we do that while navigating the break-neck pace of freeway traffic.

“We return home to television, conversation, activities, and preoccupations of all kinds. Eventually, we go to bed, where perhaps we read or watch a bit more TV. Finally, we fall asleep. When, in all of this, did we take time to think, to pray, to wonder, to be restful, to be grateful for life, for love, for health, for God? The day just sucked us through.”

Furthermore, writes Rolheiser, many of us have “the false notion that prayer needs to be exciting, intense, and full of energy all the time.” After all, given the constant stimulation from the media and many other sources, that’s what we expect from the rest of our lives.

So, practically, what does all this mean for people searching for God? Well, showing up is crucial. But, obviously, it’s not enough.

In my opinion, finding a kind of prayer that helps you connect with God, minimizing the distractions of the day, is the goal. It may mean finding a quiet, comfortable, solitary place where you can relax. Taking a few deep breathes helps.

Basking in God’s Presence

It could involve reading a short passage from the Bible, then closing your eyes and thinking about it, and, most importantly, placing yourself in God’s presence – “basking” in God’s presence, you could say. The traditional definition of prayer, “raising our hearts and minds to God,” is paramount.

There will certainly be distractions, but you can share them with God and move on, not feeling guilty about them or worrying whether you’re praying correctly.

But is it really possible to know and love God? Only in a limited, human way, I believe, but that much is worth it. It works in a way similar to how we come to know other people, through simple, gradual presence.

And the reward, writes Rolheiser, is a bond and intimacy that “will be growing under the surface: a deep, growing bong with our God.”