Is “Extraordinary” Overrated?
We don’t like to think of ourselves as “ordinary.” It conjures up images of mediocrity, lack of ambition and a poor sense of self-worth.
But let’s face it, few of us are extraordinary. As human beings, we all have limitations and have experienced failures of one kind or another. For some, this leads to sadness, and if comparing ourselves to others, the sense that we don’t measure up.
I’m writing about this because I just read an article on the National Public Radio (NPR) website entitled “’Extraordinary’ is overrated. Here’s how to embrace the power of an ordinary life” by Andee Tagle and Audrey Nguyen.
Younger people, especially, they write, are under pressure from our culture, the media, social media and even loved ones “to chase an extraordinary standard in every aspect of life. We’re urged to travel the world while simultaneously working our way to professional success – all to get married to the perfect partner, buy a home and raise 2.5 kids.”
Always Something Better?
They quote author Rainesford Stauffer: “We’ve got to quit glorifying the idea that there’s always something better out there. You shouldn’t feel pressure to automatically venture somewhere else to find a new self. We should get to find new facets of ourselves wherever we are.
“Seeking contentment and a life that feels true to who we are aren’t afterthoughts,” writes Stauffer. “What we might find is that the big questions – ‘What matters to me? Who am I going to be in the world?’ – have ordinary answers. Maybe it’s embracing the pursuit of those answers that leads us to growth and shows us who we can grow into.”
These are good questions we all should ask sooner or later. But questions these writers don’t mention are even more important. They include “Does life have meaning or is it an absurdity of meaninglessness?
Reject Traditional Answers?
Is there a God? How do I find out? If there is, can I have a relationship with him/her and how? Do I need to reject traditional answers to these questions to “follow my own path?”
Ok, I acknowledge that answers to these questions are harder to find but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ask them and seek answers, even when the answers may not be entirely satisfactory. There are answers, using both parts of the brain, but first we need to recognize the need to ask them.
And that brings us back to the subject of self-worth. Psychologists have said that self-worth is developed starting early in life and is often promoted by parents and other loved ones who are affirming and loving. But this isn’t always enough. Parents could be the best possible and for various reasons, their children may think of themselves as less than ordinary.
Given what I continually write about, you probably see where this is going. And that is that self-worth can come from faith, from the Judeo-Christian belief that we are God’s beloved children.
But where to look for God? First, in the obvious. Before looking for something new, we should thoroughly examine the old, the traditional, what we learned from parents or grandparents, what billions of people have witnessed to for centuries. We can rely on the Bible and church tradition when properly understood.
More Distinctions
This isn’t a denial of the importance of change, by the way, which I believe is sorely needed in religion. But change can be good or bad, depending on the reasons for the change. Personally, I believe we need more distinctions between what is essential to faith and what isn’t and the willingness to give up what isn’t. And the way to get change is to work for it, not just to sleep in on Sunday mornings.
We can also look for God in the goodness of others and in ourselves, in nature, in the arts and sciences. But for believers, self-worth comes from recalling who we are.
“And because you are God’s children,” writes the apostle Paul in his letter to the Christians at Galicia, “God has sent the spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying “Abba, Father.”
