Why “Church” May Have Lost Its Appeal

A few months ago I wrote a two-and-a-half page letter to the liturgy committee at the church my wife and I attend.

For those unfamiliar with the term, “liturgy” refers to public worship, in this case, the Masses that are held in Catholic parishes. My letter contained a half dozen or so suggestions on how to make the weekend liturgy more people friendly, more welcoming and more relevant to the lives of parishioners.

I was subsequently invited to speak to the committee and during the discussion of my suggestions, the parish priest asked me what I believed to be the point of the Mass.

“Prayer,” I answered. “Community prayer.”

He seemed satisfied with that answer and I thought about that when I recently stumbled across a notebook compiled by my deceased brother, Richard Carney, who for 53 years was a priest in the Kansas City- St. Joseph Catholic Diocese.

Centering Prayer

The notebook contains his notes on “centering prayer,” which incorporates silence and meditation – or “listening” to God – into prayer. It has become popular with many Christians who are looking for ways to make prayer more meaningful.

Though it holds a certain attraction, I have never mastered it. I pray frequently, but centering prayer just doesn’t seem to be my “thing.” I find it hard to distinguish between listening to God and listening to my own thoughts, including biases and negative thoughts that swirl around in my brain.

But one of my brother’s notes got my attention.

“…People who have learned to pray privately, who have developed a personal rapport with God through private prayer hardly ever just ‘put in their time’ at Sunday mass. …Private prayer is the training ground for proper public prayer; it will only be so good as one’s private devotedness allows it to be.

“Private prayer, then, is at the heart of public prayer; the heart developed in loving God in private is the same heart brought to Mass on Sunday.”

Lack Appreciation?

It occurs to me that people who lack an appreciation for the liturgy – or “going to church” – probably have little to no prayer life. How could you understand public prayer if you don’t pray in private? And how could you not appreciate public prayer if you do pray in private?

If we complain about God’s silence, just imagine the case he/she has against us in that regard. We are also silent, ignoring God – except, perhaps when we’re in crises – for reasons that often boil down to indifference and apathy.

The search for God, which must include prayer, requires some tenacity and self-discipline. If you’re serious about weight loss, you first have to decide to do it, apply some determination, then adopt a regimen of diet and exercise. You may occasionally fail, but to be successful you put your shoulder to the wheel and try not to look back.

All that applies to prayer for people searching for God: a decision to pray, adopting the determination to do so, then the times and places to do it. Sometimes you’ll feel that you’re talking to yourself; sometimes you’ll be distracted by so many things it doesn’t seem like prayer; sometimes you’ll be so tired you can’t focus. That’s the prayer of human beings.

The Devil in the Detail

But sometimes the devil is in the detail. The time and place are important, choosing a time when we can get it done – such as early morning or late at night – and a place of quiet and solitude. If we have some success in prayer, we will become more determined in our search for God and eventually, be able to “hear” God’s responses in the form of intuition. We’ll feel closer to him/her and to others.

And that closeness to others should spark a desire to pray with them. I believe many people don’t get church because they don’t get prayer. They haven’t learned to appreciate the value of prayer or make the connection between praying privately and publicly.

Jesus did both, according to the gospels, and so did the ancient Jews, moving throughout their history from private encounters with God to public prayer in the Temple and synagogues. Muslims pray and so do Hindus and Buddhists, though in a different form than Christians, Jews and Muslims.

Universally, private and public prayer is fundamental for people searching for God.