The Joy of Love

As you may know, the incidence of marriage has been declining rapidly.

“The marriage rate is at its lowest point in more than a century,” reported USA Today in 2013, the latest year for which I could find comparable data, “and the number of marriages across the USA fell more than 5% during the recession.”

There may be a silver lining, however.

“…A new analysis projects that pent-up demand and the large population of marriage-eligible Millennials, ages 18-34, means more will be headed to the altar over the next two years.”

That statement is at least two years old and we don’t know how it turned out. But in the category of “anecdotal evidence,” I can say that young people in my family and those of my friends and acquaintances seem to appreciate the value of marriage and family as much or more than previous generations.

Under Attack

Still, the institution of marriage, and consequently that of the “traditional” family, is under attack. That’s why Pope Francis has led for the past two years what the New York Times calls “a sweeping exercise of self-examination” of the church’s teaching and subsequently wrote a document called “The Joy of Love.”

Before proceeding, I once again ask the indulgence of non-Catholic readers because much of this post deals with “Catholic stuff,” specifically the church’s teaching on marriage and family. I like to think there’s something here for everyone, however, and that it has a lot to say to people searching for God.

Unfortunately, few people will read “The Joy of Love.” Instead, many will depend on news media that invariably report liberal-versus-conservative reaction, and many will decide on the document’s merits based on ideological positions.

Some Catholics believe the pope, who emphasizes individual conscience and use of spiritual discernment to solve moral issues, is trying to “water down” church doctrine. In my opinion, those critics prefer that the church treat us like children, laying down rules that take the tough decisions out of our hands.

Prayerful Decisions

The pope, I believe, wants us – with the help of the church – to make God-inspired, prayerful decisions ourselves. “We have been called to form consciences, not to replace them,” he advises bishops and priests in the document.

Others will consider The Joy of Love too idealistic. True, it does present high ideals, but shouldn’t religion deal in ideals, urging us to be more than ourselves? Shouldn’t it challenge us?

I’m reading the document with the intention of writing about it in this blog, but I realize there’s so much there, I need to cover it in several posts. So, I’m only going to mention a few salient points from the pope’s exhortation here and cover more of it later.

• Seek counsel from the Bible, even Genesis which seems too primitive to offer any insights to modern people. The pope asks if the Genesis passage, “God made man in his own image, male and female he made them” isn’t meant as much an insight into the nature of God as the nature of humans. In other words, isn’t God both “male and female?”
• The Bible isn’t totally idealistic. It is “full of the conflict and even violence that characterizes humanity, beginning with the story of Cain and Abel,” and includes the anxieties and tensions experienced by families Jesus weaves into his parables. “…The word of God is not a series of abstract ideas but rather a source of comfort and companionship for every family that experiences difficulties or suffering.”
• “The welfare of the family is decisive for the future of the world and that of the Church…” and “the ability of human couples to beget life is the path along which the history of salvation progresses.”
• Marriage is a model for Christ’s law of love. “Christ proposed as the distinctive sign of his disciples the law of love and the gift of self for others. …The family is called to join in daily prayer, to read the word of God and to share in Eucharistic communion, and thus to grow in love and become ever more fully a temple in which the Spirit dwells.”
• For marriages, and life, Pope Francis urges a virtue that “stands out, one often over­looked in our world of frenetic and superficial relationships. It is tenderness.”